After retirement, many people start to feel alone and lost for something to do. All too often, the kids have moved away and you don’t see them or your grandchildren.
Retirees and seniors also look to move away for a better climate, more senior services, or better health care. It’s quite common for retirees to want to relocate closer to their adult children.
However, before you sell up and move, there are a few things you might want to consider first. It might look like a great opportunity, but things don’t always work that way.
Will You Be Happy?
If the child you want to live closer to lives somewhere you are unfamiliar with or isn’t a place you would choose, you need to ask yourself if you will be truly happy.
They may have moved due to work and job opportunities, but they may not even be all that happy there. It would be a good idea to go there and stay with them or near them to give it a test run first.
You don’t want to just move there and realize it is not at all what you want. This will make you and them unhappy. It’s important that you know there will be a life for you there outside of your children.
Access to Healthcare
They may be living in a small remote town without much access to the healthcare that they need. Smaller communities can have a lack of medical professionals, doctors, and even hospitals or clinics.
If you have special needs, then you need to know that you will be able to access these services once you are living there. If you need to travel a long way for access or be on a long waiting list, this will not be ideal for you.
If you do have health concerns and access to health care is limited, you may want to consider a medical alert system. That way, you can be sure that you will always receive help if you need it.
Do They Want You to Come?
You will need to have a serious and possibly difficult conversation with your child and their partner about you relocating close to them. If you have always had a close relationship, this might not be difficult.
But, if you are thinking about yourself only, they may not want you there all the time. If your relationship is strained throughout your life, it can be difficult for them to say yes or no to you.
Also, your child’s partner may have other ideas. Your child may want you to come but if you don’t get on well with your in-laws, then it can make the situation strained and difficult.
Do They Want You for the Right Reasons?
If you are only going to be stuck taking care of your children, then this can be a problem. Looking after the grandkids is nice for you but not all the time. If it turns out all you do is take care of their home, cook, and clean, then this isn’t an ideal situation for you.
You might think it sounds okay to begin with, but it might turn out to cause resentment and drive a wedge between you all. You need to have your own life there and not just be their babysitter and housekeeper.
Will You Make Friends?
You need to consider your happiness first. If you already have an established circle of friends and a thriving social life, are you prepared to start that all over again?
You must have your own life and your friends. You didn’t retire just to turn around and start raising another family. It will be important that you know about the social scene for people your age in the area before you consider moving there.
Think of Yourself, First
There is a lot to consider before you just pack up everything and move to a different location. It is very stressful to move and more so if you are unfamiliar with the location.
Do your research, make sure the kids want you to come, and be sure to find out if you will have everything you need. No matter where you end up, consider investing in a medical alert system. You and your family will have peace of mind knowing that you’re always protected.
Should you move closer to your adult children?
It can work well, but it is worth pausing first. The move often succeeds when both sides talk openly about expectations and when you would be happy there even if your child relocated. It tends to disappoint when the whole plan depends on their staying put or on time together neither of you discussed.
What should you consider before moving closer to family?
Cost of living, healthcare access, and the social network you would leave behind are the big three. Add the practical ones: how settled your child is, whether the home will still suit you in ten years, and what happens if driving gets harder. Renting first tests all of it cheaply.
What are the downsides of moving closer to your adult child?
The most common are isolation from your own friends, an adult child whose job later moves them elsewhere, and mismatched expectations about how much time or help is involved. Moving is also expensive and hard to undo. None of these are reasons not to move; they are reasons to plan.
How do you talk to your adult child about moving closer?
Ask before you decide, and ask openly. Cover how likely they are to stay in the area, what kind of involvement each of you imagines, and what help, if any, is expected. It is a far easier conversation before the move than after.
