Watching a loved one age and begin to struggle is very difficult. But, along with this comes the need for conversations about many issues in their lives that can also prove to be extremely challenging.
The difficulty aside, these conversations need to happen. As difficult as these conversations may be for everyone, there are tactful and diplomatic ways of starting these talks with positive results.
Difficult Conversations for Family Caregivers
No one wants to have these types of talks and no one wants to have to hear them. Here are a few tips that may help you through yours.
1. Start Early and Often
If you start to broach the subject you need to discuss early on, then your loved one will be thinking about it. Starting the conversation early makes it easier to bring it up again.
You don’t have to have the whole conversation right away. You can make suggestions to prepare them. Just casually say, ‘Mom, we should talk about your will, bank accounts, or insurance soon’.
Planting the seeds of what is to come can be very helpful in easing your way back into the topic again, later on. As soon as you know that the subject needs to be bright up is when you need to start the conversation.
2. Do Your Research
It’s important that you come into these conversations armed with accurate information. If you have genuine worries about their health and safety, then you need to be able to provide examples.
Go for a drive with them, help prepare a meal, or spend time with them around the home. This way you are on hand to mention your concerns when they are happening.
3. Be Kind
It’s important to remember who you are talking to. It may be difficult and you may become frustrated, but they are your family. Don’t show your anger or short temper.
These are your family members and they are bound to be reluctant about having the conversation at all. It’s important that they understand it is all about keeping them safe, happy, and living to their best potential.
If the conversation isn’t going well, take a break. Once the idea is planted, it will be easier the next time. You shouldn’t expect to have the conversation in one sitting, it may take several.
4. Include all The People Involved
Without overwhelming your loved one, try to have all the key players there when the conversation is happening. Don’t bombard them, but ease into it. It can be done after a family dinner together or during a family outing.
This saves time for everyone so you don’t have to keep having the same conversation with other people. Make sure everyone is on board with what is having to be said before you start.
Having your family and others there will help you reinforce your point. Don’t gang up on them and make sure your loved one feels like they are the ones making the decision, if possible.
5. Be Clear and Firm
Tell your point clearly and concisely. You know your family member best, so talk to them in a casual but firm manner. Make sure they understand what is being said and what it is you require them to do or consent to.
Depending on what you need to talk about, there is bound to be some pushback. Allow them to voice their concerns but be firm on your point, as well.
When you already know they shouldn’t be driving, you can softly point out a few near-misses they may have had or the time there was an accident in the kitchen. Let them know you love them and have their best interests at heart.
Make Sure Your Loved Ones Feel Supported
Consider investing in a medical alert system as part of your caregiving strategy. These systems provide fast access to help 24/7 for both emergency & non-emergency situations. They allow you and your loved ones to have peace of mind.
As you navigate the intricate journey of caregiving, recognize that challenging conversations are not only unavoidable but vital for optimal outcomes. Incorporating these invaluable tips into your approach empowers you to traverse these discussions with compassion, understanding, and a heightened effectiveness. Keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to foster an environment where your loved ones feel supported, heard, and empowered. This commitment, in turn, leads to an elevated quality of life for them and provides enduring peace of mind for you and your entire family.